


marriage is a contract (but it's so much more than that)

by Dontfloatthe100



Category: The Pinkertons (TV)
Genre: But they figure it out, F/M, Marriage, True Love, emotional insecurity, love is hard sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21596095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dontfloatthe100/pseuds/Dontfloatthe100
Summary: Marriage CertificateThis is to Certify that on the 14th day of April, 1868, the Rights of Marriage were legally solemnized by me, between William Allan Pinkerton, born April 7th, 1836, and Kate Warne, born May 8th, 1833 at The Kansas City Courthouse in the County of Missouri in the presence of Allan J. Pinkerton and Annalee B. Webb.Signed: Joseph A. Hancock
Relationships: William Pinkerton/Kate Warne
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	marriage is a contract (but it's so much more than that)

Will looked down at the crisp, white paper in his hand and reread the same words that he had read a thousand times before.

Marriage Certificate  
This is to Certify that on the **14th day of April, 1868** , the Rights of Marriage were legally solemnized by me, between **_William Allan Pinkerton_** , born **April 7th, 1836** , and **_Kate Warne_** , born **May 8th, 1833** at The Kansas City Courthouse in the County of Missouri in the presence of **_Allan J. Pinkerton_ **and **_Annalee B. Webb._**  
Signed: **_Joseph A. Hancock_**

Will was specifically focusing on Kate's birthday, written down clearly with pitch black ink. He hadn't known her birthday, when he'd married her. He didn't think anything of it at the time, but now he wondered if that was normal. Should he have asked her? Or maybe he shouldn't have because she didn't like her birthday. Or maybe it just wasn't important to her so she never mentioned it. Will felt bad either way.

Will heard the sound of the door swinging open behind him and he placed the paper back on the table. He turned around to see Kate take off her coat and hang it on the hook next to the doorframe. She looked over at him and then at the paper on the table and smiled slightly. She walked over to the wood burning stove and grabbed the blackened cloth, opening the stove door with the cloth and putting some more wood in. 

"You probably shouldn't be taking it out of the safe. It could get stained," Kate said. She didn't turn around, just continued to place small wood pieces into the stove. 

"Your birthday is in three days," Will said, without preamble. 

Kate shut the stove door and looked over at him. "Hmm. I almost forgot about it," she said. She placed the cloth back and dusted her hands off on her skirt. She then walked over to where Will was sitting and leaned down, placing her forearms arms on his shoulders and resting her chin on the top of his head. She looked down at the paper, but Will couldn't see her expression to know what she was thinking.

"I should've asked when it was. I'm sorry," Will said, feeling like the worst husband in the world. He felt like that sometimes, and he tried to push the feeling down until it was manageable and less heart wrenching.

Kate lifted her head and moved to where she was kneeling next to Will's chair. She took hold of his hand. "I've never really celebrated my birthday," she said, "It just wasn't important in my family. I had so many siblings it was hard for my parents to keep track of us all. And during the war, my birthdays kind of just passed me by. So don't worry about it, okay?"

Will nodded a little, still feeling sort of awful. But Kate smiled and kissed his forehead, so that feeling mostly went away. Kate stood up completely and made her way to the kitchen. "I'm thinking stew for dinner," she called from the other room and Will smiled, his doubts pushed to the back of his mind for the moment.

* * *

That night, Will laid in their bed and stared up at the ceiling, deep in thought. He felt confused, guilty, heartsick. Will thought about sending a telegram to his father but he decided against it. Really, what could he even send?

I'm in the middle of a crisis. STOP. I don't know what it is to be a good husband. STOP. Please send help. STOP. Your loving son, Will. FULL STOP. 

It even sounded dumb in his head. 

As a child he had always worshipped his father. Whenever he came home, Will would always beg him to tell him about the crimes he had solved, about how he had survived in Gorbals, anything he would be willing to talk about. But that was the thing, the question usually wasn't when he got home that day, but if. Will remembered seeing his mother sitting by the window for hours, waiting for his father. Will remembered the long nights in Chicago when his father moonlighted at the office and they weren't even sure he was alive and well until the next morning. Will knew that if he was working late on a case, then Kate would be too, but he never wanted to make her worry like that. 

But Will knew that he had made her worry like that, when he had gotten shot by Jesse James. He knew now how stupid he was to engage him. It had been three long years since then and Will had done a lot of growing, but he still saw the expression on Kate's face when she looked at his scar. Like if she could will it away with just a look, she would. He had put her, someone who had already lost almost everyone, through so much that day. Will rolled over to look at her. 

Kate looked peaceful in her sleep, the lines that she usually carried on her face were smoothed. Will felt the need to reach out and touch them, but decided against it. Instead he moved closer to her, reaching an arm behind her back and pulling her to his chest. She let out a huff and stirred a little, but then settled against him. Will felt the sinking feeling of dread creep up in him. A foreboding feeling that said that he wouldn’t be able to hold her like that for much longer. He stamped it down and shut his eyes tight and waited for sleep to take him.

* * *

“It’s funny, I don’t think we’ve ever had both the wife and the husband come to us separately, asking us to find proof that the other is guilty of adultery,” Kate said, going over her notes from the case. 

“Seems like something out of a true crime novella,” Will said. He leaned back in his chair at their dining room table and sighed a little.

“Can’t say I’ve read that installment of ‘Frontier Desperados,’ but I guess you’re right,” Kate asked, looking up from her notes.

“It’s strange. They seemed so perfectly matched, when we talked to them before,” Will said, drumming his fingers on the table.

“Well, relationships are different on the inside than they are on the outside,” Kate said, shutting her small notebook and putting it back in her satchel. She picked up her glass from the table and took a sip. She grimaced. Kate never really liked whiskey, but with another bout of cholera going around, it was safer to drink than water.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that none of us really know how two people are, when they’re alone. They can seem perfectly in love and perfectly matched, but really it just doesn’t work. Maybe it’s better that they found out about each other’s affairs now so they can have a clean break,” Kate said, sounding almost too matter-of-fact for Will’s liking.

“Yeah,” Will croaked. He cleared his voice. “Yeah, I understand.”

They were both silent for a moment, before Kate spoke up. “Will, are you alright, you’ve been acting really strange?”

“Yeah, I just-- do you think it’s easy for people to fall out of love?” Will asked, his heart beating wildly in his chest. Will would never, could never fall out of love with her. He knew that. But Kate? Will wasn’t sure.

“Maybe for some people. But not for me,” Kate said.

“But Charlie--”

“Charlie died, Will. It’s different,” Kate said with biting finality. 

“I-- you're right. Of course, you're right. I'm sorry,” Will said.

“Are you okay, Will? Do you need to tell me something?” Kate asked, leaning forward in her chair and raised a quizzical brow. Only her eyes betrayed the hurt that she was feeling at the thought of Will no longer loving her.

“No, nothing. I love you, Kate. Always,” Will said quickly. He hated seeing that look in her eyes.

“Then there's nothing to worry about,” Kate said, “Now help me look over these notes. We have a report due to Allan by Thursday."

* * *

Will sat at the bar and stared blankly at the row of brightly colored bottles in front of him. His stomach turned in his lingering guilt and he gripped his glass tighter, the carved details making marks on his fingers and palm.

"You know, if you break that glass it's going on your tab," Annalee said, resting her elbows on the bar in front of him and placing her chin in her hands.

Will released his grip on the glass and it wobbled a little on the varnished wood of the bar. "Sorry," Will said, watching the glass steady itself.

"What's wrong?" Annalee asked. 

"Nothing, it's fine," Will said, running his index finger along the rim on the empty glass.

"Come on, I know you better than that," Annalee said, placing a hand on his arm. Will pulled his arm away and bit his lip.

"I'm just... confused. I don't know if what I'm doing is right," Will said.

"What are you talking about?"

"When I married Kate everything was so clear, you know? I knew that what I was doing, but now..."

"So you regret marrying her," Annalee said, raising an eyebrow.

Will felt his chest constrict and his blood run cold. "No, no, of course not. I love her more than anything."

"Then what's the problem?" Annalee asked.

"I just-- what if I'm not a good husband? I don't know how to be married to someone! I'm impulsive and selfish and I didn’t even know her birthday for god sakes and what if I... what if I hurt her? What if she deserves better than me?"

Will was whispering by the end, feeling tears well up in his eyes and threaten to spill down his cheeks. The knowledge that he’d already hurt her was ever present in his mind and it made his hands shake.

Annalee sighed. “Will, you know Kate better than anyone in the world, so you know as well as I do that if she doesn’t want to do something, she won’t do it. If she thought that you would be a bad husband or would hurt her or that she deserved better than you, then she wouldn’t have married you.”

“But what if she didn’t really know me, you know? What if living with me is different than just being partners?”

Annalee frowned a little. “Will, do you remember that night Kate came to the Dubois in that pretty dress and watched that man the whole night?” Annalee asked.

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?” Will asked, frowning at the memory.

“I told you that she was just watching him, but I lied. Or at least I didn’t tell you the whole truth. When I came over to ask what she was up to, she pointed out a man from across the room who was having an affair with one of my girls. She was there just to observe people, and she was damn good at it. And if she can observe that about someone who was just sitting across the room from her, imagine what she can observe about someone she’s known for years. She knows you, Will, better than you think, and somehow she still choose you. You have to trust in her, Will. That’s the only way that this is going to work out,” Annalee said.

“But what if--”

“No more ‘what if’s.’ If you are still confused, then you should talk to Kate about it rather than coming to me,” Annalee said, waving her hand dismissively. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right,” Will conceded.

“I always am. Now go. I don’t want to see you back here unless she’s with you and you’ve worked things out.”

Will smiled at her and stood up from the bar, feeling renewed resolve to talk to her and clear things up. 

But when he got home and Kate smiled at him from her seat at the table, all the words Will had prepared left him, and all Will could think about was the possibility of losing that smile forever. Why would she stick around if she knew how shit he was at being in a relationship? She would leave him, and he was much too selfish to let that happen. 

"Everything alright?" Kate asked. 

"Yeah, everything's fine," Will said as he took his seat next to her, burying his thoughts down deep, and willing them not to come up again. 

* * *

Will hid behind a barrel in the middle of the shanty town. 

The wind was frigid and he knew that if he could look at himself in a mirror, his cheeks and nose would be red. He wouldn't be surprised if he found icicles in his beard when he got home. God he wished he could be home, curled up with Kate in their bed, her tucked into his side as she read aloud to him from some novel. Will never really paid attention to the story, too captivated by the calming lilt to his wife's voice. And when he couldn't stand not touching her anymore, he would press his lips to hers and then make love to her slowly, softly, as if he could press his love, his amazement, his awe into her skin and she would know how much she meant to him.

But he couldn't, not now. Now they were staking out one of the tents in the camp, on the lookout for some counterfeiters who they were told could be found here. Kate was around the back of the tent, making sure no one slipped out without them knowing. 

So far, nothing. There was an oil lamp burning in the tent, and he could see the silhouette of two figures inside. One of them seemed to be pacing around, and the other was sitting. He could hear muffled voices through the thick tarp. One of the men, he assumed it was the pacing one, was yelling at the other, who seemed to be responding calmly. After a minute of two of this, the yelling man left out the back. Will's heart started beating quicker in his chest and he stood, ready to run after him. Just then, Will heard a loud noise, a deafening bang that was unmistakable. 

The sound of a gunshot. 

Will immediately ran around the back of the tent, his weapon drawn, shouting for Kate. Cold dread seeped into his bones, turning his blood to liquid ice. His heart was beating in his ears. A million scenarios ran through his head as he rounded the bend towards Kate. 

"Kate! Kate, goddamnit where are you?!" Will shouted. 

As soon as he got to the back of the tent, Will saw the yelling man holding a gun. It's barrel let off a small plume of smoke, and Will felt his heart skip a beat. He looked to where Kate should've been hiding, and he saw nothing. Fear gripped him, and he called Kate's name again. 

The man noticed him, noticed his gun, and ran in the opposite direction. Will couldn't find it in himself to care. 

"Kate! Fuck, Kate where are you?!"

"I'm right here! Goddamnit, Will, you let him get away!" Kate said, jumping out from behind a few crates a meter away. 

"What?" 

"He was right there, you had him and you let him get away!" she said, walking quickly over to him. 

"I thought you got shot! I thought he shot you!" Will said, his voice rising to match hers.

"Obviously I've not been shot, Will. And who knows when or if we'll ever see that guy again. That was the only lead we had, goddamnit!" 

"Kate, I'm-"

"Let's just search the tent. Chances are the other man cleared everything out by now, but might as well," Kate said, a bite to her voice that Will hadn't heard in a long time. Will bit his lip and followed her into the tent. 

* * *

"Look, about earlier, I-" 

"Will, it's okay. I'm over it. We all make mistakes," Kate said, placing her book down on their wedding quilt. She shifted a little to face him, rustling their covers. 

"No, I should've been on it. I just heard the gunshot go off and all I could think was that you were the one who got shot and I panicked," Will said. 

"We've been shot at before and you've never acted like that. What's wrong, Will? You can tell me," Kate said. 

"It's-" Will started, but then stopped, as he saw the look on her face. She looked at him expectantly, worry etched into the lines on her brow, and once again he felt the word on his tongue choke him. 

"I've just been tired lately, is all. I'm sorry," Will said.

"Why do I feel like you're not telling me everything?" Kate asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"I am, there's nothing else to say. I'm tired, Kate. Can we just sleep?" 

Kate bit her lip and nodded, a small hurt look in her eyes. It broke Will's heart, just proof that he really wasn't cut out for this at all, that he didn't deserve her. 

Will turned to his bedside table and switched off the oil lamp. He then laid down on his side, facing away from Kate, and willed sleep to come easily.

* * *

"We need to talk," Kate said, sitting down next to him at the kitchen table.

Will put down his cup of tea and looked up at her, fairly sure what she wanted to talk about. 

"You've been acting strangely lately. You're distant yet overprotective, you get all weird when I talk about marriage. What's wrong, Will? And don't say nothing, cause I know that isn't true," Kate said, crossing her arms over her chest and stared at him intently. 

"I- there isn't-"

"Stop lying to me, Will. I thought when we got married we agreed to not keep secrets, to be there for each other. Why can't you tell me what's wrong?" Kate said. 

"I just can't, Kate. It would ruin-" 

"It would ruin what, Will? What? I don't understand, is it… is it me?" 

Will's blood ran cold. "No, no Kate it's not you, it's not."

"Then what is it? I could help if you just gave me a chance to understand," she said, placing her hands on his, gripping them tightly. 

"I- I can't, Kate. I just can't," Will said. 

Kate removed her hands from his slowly, tentatively. She then stood quickly, her chair screeching as it dragged against the floor. She put on her grey coat, haphazardly doing up the buttons. 

"Kate, where are you-?" 

"Away, Will. Just away," she said, as she walked out the door and into the snowy morning. 

All Will could do was stare after her, and think about just how much he had fucked up. 

* * *

By the time Kate came back to the house it was dark. The snow had picked up, not that Will had noticed. He was too busy staring into the depths of his whiskey glass. 

Kate walked in and removed her coat, and immediately shivered. "Jesus, Will, it's freezing in here," she said. 

She walked over to the stove and opened it. She stoked the coals and placed a log on the fire. "There, that's better," she said, closing the stove. 

She walked over to Will and stood in front of the table, directly in his line of sight. 

"Will, have you moved at all since I left?" Kate asked.

"Just to get whiskey," he said quietly. 

"Will…"

"I thought you left for good," Will said. 

"It was just a fight, Will. A little fight. I wasn't going to leave you," Kate said, moving to sit next to him.

"I thought you were," Will said. He picked up his whiskey glass, and Kate placed her hand on his, guiding his hand back down. 

"We've had fights before, Will," Kate said.

"Not since we've been married, you- you never walked out before."

"I needed some space, Will. That's all," Kate said, taking his hand. 

"I'm sorry, Kate," Will said, feeling tears well in his eyes and slip down his cheeks.

"I just want to understand, Will. I need to understand. I won't leave you if you just tell me what's wrong," Kate said. 

"You can't promise that, you can't," he said. 

"I can and I will. Just try me, please."

She squeezed his hand lightly in encouragement. Will was silent for a moment, before speaking up.

“I just-- when you get married, they don’t give you a manual, you know? It’s not like they just hand you the newest edition of ‘How to be a Good Husband,’ and send you on your way. My father, he wasn’t around very much, and my mother worried so much about him, and I--”

Will took a deep steadying breath and continued. “I want to be better than him. I want to be a good husband to you, a good father to our children one day. But I don’t know how, Kate, and it scares the shit out of me and when I hurt you today I thought that that was it. That I’d messed it up so much that you wouldn’t want me back and that you would go off and find someone better for you. Someone better than me.”

There it was, all out in the open. Will felt lighter, with everything he’d been carrying around with him laid bare between them. Will took a moment to examine Kate, see if he could figure out what she was thinking. Her eyebrows were knitted in concern and the corners of her lips were turned down slightly. Will felt guilty all over again, knowing that he had caused her to worry. Just then, Will felt her hand on his cheek. She brought him closer and pressed her lips to his, making his thoughts stop for a moment. 

Kate pulled away and rested her forehead against his. “Will,” she said on an exhale, her breath dancing softly across his cheeks. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? Not now, not ever. I know you, Will. You are a good man in spite of your mistakes. I knew your flaws when I married you, Will, and you knew mine. You are a good husband, and if you weren’t? Trust me, I would let you know.”

Will turned his head and looked away from her, his cheeks heating up. Kate placed both her hands on the sides of his face and made him look her in the eye. “I love you, Will. That’s not going to change, not now, not ever. Please trust me on that,” she said.

Will’s heart swelled and crept up into his throat to the point where all he could do was nod and kiss her and silently thank whatever god is out there that she loves him just as much as he loves her. And for that moment, his whole life, his future, was clear. 

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back (back, back, back) back again ('gain, 'gain, 'gain). I missed them so much. I've had this in my notes unfinished for a while. I'm glad I got to finally post it. A little update on me, I'm currently at university in Edinburgh, Scotland, which is amazing, but means I don't have much time. I hope I can keep writing over winter break tho. Keep the fandom alive, my children. Te quiero mucho. 
> 
> Best,  
> Em


End file.
